Disdained, I vowed to hate you forever. The pain you inflict forces me to look into the abyss at the truth of what I am. Beyond bones, flesh and genetic codes.
Explosions of chaos spark fights of passion ending in sadistic sex-falling into submission, I escape into the pleasurable murder of my ego.
I love you, I loathe you with a monstrous hate, aroused by the phenomena of love, I can not comprehend. Possessed by love, my heart and mind are at war-my actions are unpredictable even to myself.
The curse of love has made me your slave. I steal away in the iridescent night but one thought of you steals my chance of freedom and dancing in the light of my own being– Loose me from your chains. The sound of your name suffocates me into unconscious darkness.
I love you, I loathe you. I hate the way you summon my shadow. Who gave you permission to unlock my secret desires? You play with them then set them on fire, witch-wich that conjured dancing shadows on the wall, making reality an illusion in an ocean of chaos.
Master of Ceremonies bring back to me my veil. I claw for stability, certainty, grasping for truth. You offer your hand, I reach for redemption but you drown me in Prima Materia. Our cataclysmic death is a rebirth, souls united as one. Rising from the ashes soaring like a phoenix- reborn in the fiery hell of a pit called love.
Most people spend their entire lives chasing money. If I just had enough money then I could do this, if I just had enough money then I would be respected, if I just had enough money then I would be happy are the thoughts of most people. The list of what could result in having enough money is endless. And more often then not more money may produce more dissatisfaction if what you are doing to gain the money is not in alignment with your purpose in life.
Ask yourself do you drift through life on automaton? Refusing to live until your next paycheck or until you have saved up enough money to take that vacation to Jamaica, France or Morocco? Do you lock away and silence the inner voice that keeps telling you to take that cooking class you love, or to open up that herbal shop, or maybe you tell your dreams, “ not this year we need money I have to work and I can focus on my dream next year.” But coincidently next year never comes does it? You have the same financial obligations next year as you did the previous year maybe even more. In addition, you now lack confidence in yourself because you know you are not doing what you love, you have sold yourself out, literally and figuratively.
The Most Valuable Asset in Your Portfolio Will Always Be Time
I once had a good friend who said, “people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” I am sure he got that line from some motivational speaker like Tony Robinson who is living his dream. But the point is the time we spend is the true value and currency in our lives. How you choose to spend your time is of great importance and should be examined often. When my dear sister was dying of breast cancer; there was no amount of money that she or our family wouldn’t have given to buy one more day. In the face of death, the reality of money was reduced to green paper nothing more and nothing less.
Many, snuff and say well money is important while alive, and to that, I agree to an extent. The drive for the acquisition of more money should never override our time. What I mean by overriding our time is, the drive for money should not be so consuming that we lose the time to tap into our own creativity. The time to walk in nature, spend quality time with family and friends is where the spark of inspiration can awaken from its dormancy. It cost nothing to set in silence with one’s self, tuning out from the consistent demands of life and turning inward will provide the true guidance that so many of us seek.
Where Your Energy Flows, Your Focus Goes: Time Analysis
There are 24 hours in one day and 8,760 hours in one year. The average human in the United States lives to be 78.6 according to the Center for Disease Control, that means you may have 688,536 hours in one lifetime. Obviously, if you live longer or shorter the hours’ increase or decrease. In the United States most, people work 8-hour work days adding up to 40 hours every two weeks. If you work at a company that allows a two-week vacation, then that means you work 8 hours of 351 days out 365 days of the year. Totaling the amount of 182,520 hours of your life if you retire by age 65. Most American’s chasing the American dream work many hours of overtime increasing the number of hours. Stay with me I am coming around to the point, I don’t’ know about you but if I am lucky and live a high quality of life to even be 78; 688,536 hours does not seem to be that many hours. This is where I start asking myself to wait a minute where am I spending my time and energy? More importantly, do I even have control over my time which is my most asset? You see, calculating your time and where you spend it could possibly be one of the keys to eternal abundance.
I would encourage all readers to start a daily self-inquiry about where you spend your time. Examples of questions would be:
- What is my reason for existence?
- What do I love doing?
- What is my interpretation of God and how can I integrate this understanding into my consciousness?
- Who and What is wasting my time?
- What knowledge do I need to buy back my time?
- How do I maximize each moment?
- How can I do what I love and maintain me and my family’s needs?
- If I were to die today, would I be at peace with how I spent my time?
Since time is our most valuable asset and we can not get time back it must be managed more diligently than we manage our money. You must be aware that your attention is a commodity in society. Major cooperation’s spend millions if not billions of dollars on researching how to gain and hold your attention. Your spouse or children require your attention, your job or school demand your attention, so how does one manage to delegate their time most effectively?
Improving your time management may require you to cut back on unnecessary expenses. Yes, you read me right. People, places, activities or things that take your time but have no benefit should be cut. For example, hours on social media is a huge time waster and it drains your vitality. By the time your eyes finish scrolling and looking at all the propaganda one’s vitality is depleted. Use social media for your benefit, not the other way around. Limit your use of it and how many times you open the apps or remove the apps from your phone to delay gratification.
Endless phone chatter should be halted. Yes, it is important to socialize and connect with family and friends. But with the event of text messages, video viewing and all the other gadgets communication has become obsessive and the quality has significantly decreased. If you have people who call you and constantly distract you with the latest gossip or use you as a dumpster for all their problems and the world’s problems, cut them out of your energy field as soon as possible: they are robbing you of your time. What about those family members or partners that steal your attention by either not giving you the attention you desire or exhaust your time by fostering an environment of disrespect, unappreciation or just facilitate drama? You will need to release them as their energy operates like debt collectors.
Whenever removing something or someone it is important to replace this space to create balance. If what was removed is not replaced naturally, we will reach for the very thing we removed out of habit. The key is to replace the space with more beneficial people, activities, places and things. This will take time so do not be afraid to spend time alone reflecting in silence.
Some suggestions to replace the now free space to manage your time would be spending time reading books that will empower you to do what you love. Spend time with elders listen to their wisdom. Dedicate a couple of hours out of the day to create something you love and give it away for free or simply spend time planning the life you want. Spend time with friends in person doing activities that bring true gratification. Plan to travel abroad, study a martial art, meditate, spend quality time with family, journal, draw, do yoga, dance, learn a foreign language, study ancient texts, the options are endless. Remember your visit on this earth is incredibly short, your time is valuable never forget Memento Mori it should be your greatest motivation.
In ancient Egypt, there was a king devoted to making Egypt the light of the world. His vision was innovative. He traveled around teaching new ways of existing in society. Asar’s queen was Aset who’s love for him reached beyond the depths of eternity. Asar and Aset were brother and sister; they had a brother named Set who was envious of Asar. One day, Set hosted a lavish ball and created a beautiful box decorated with the land’s most delicate jewels. Set said, “anyone who can fit in this box perfectly can have it as a gift.” Everyone tried to fit in the box to no avail.
Set said to his brother cunningly, “brother, why don’t you try?” Asar though a king did not like unnecessary attention, politely declined. Set insisted so vehemently. Finally, Asar agreed. Slowly he approached the box and sat down his golden goblet he was drinking from. He glanced at Aset, who intuitively knew her brother was walking to his own demise. The room was silent and filled with intensity. Set was lusting with anticipation, for he knew he had made a casket, constructed only for his brother the King. Asar put one foot in the box and then the other his heart was beating rapidly. He hesitated, “go on, brother, lie down,” Set said with a smile. Asar stretched out one leg and then the other; the box smelled of frankincense and myrrh. Asar’s head was the last of his body to fit perfectly in the box. Now I got you finally! I can rule this land as it ought to be governed. Set yelled as he slammed the trunk shut. Aset screamed, but Asar’s body was snatched away by Set’s guards and dumped in the Nile river. Within the darkness of the box, Asar wondered how he could have fallen for such deception. There was no oxygen in the box, and Asar fell unconscious deeper into darkness.
Aset knew she had only a short time to find her beloved. As an adept in magic, she shapeshifted into an old beggar woman. Aset traveled the road in disguise, asking if anyone had seen the box of the body of her beloved, Asar. A wealthy woman riding by Aset in a chariot heard Aset crying out and said, “I have seen the box it has docked by a tree near my home, come I shall take you there if you agree to be my mistress and tend to my son child.” In the wealthy woman’s home, Aset rested and established a deep bond with the child so much, she decided to give him the gift of immortality. By the fire, she stood with the child in her arms, and with her divine knowledge of alchemical transformation, she used the element of fire for immortalizing the boy. The wealthy woman happened to walk in and misunderstood what was taking place and started to attack Aset out of fear for her only son. With one wave of her hand, Aset had thrown the wealthy woman was across the room. Aset crouched over the baby with both arms that turned into enormous wings of shelter. The wealthy woman could not believe she was in the presence of a goddess and instantly prostrated.
“Your eyes deceive you, woman. You perceive death when it is eternal life that I bestow on this child. I have spent many moons as your mistress without seeing the box with my beloveds’ body; come now, woman, where is the box?”
The wealthy woman stood up with humility and motioned for Aset to go through the door and down a dark passageway. Aset handed the wealthy woman her son. In a room that burned three candles, the box was elevated on a wooden peg. My beloved! Aset cried out, running to the chest and wrapping her wings around it, how my heart has lamented for your suffering an ocean would not be deep enough to contain my tears for you, my beloved God speak to me brother. Speak to me Asar! Silence filled the room. I shall resurrect you, my husband, wait, let me fetch our Priestess of Magic sister Nephthys. Flying past the wealthy women, Aset went to find her sister, Set’s wife, Nephthys. When Aset arrived at Nephthys’ home, there was a lantern burning, and she saw Set laughing and eating through the open window. Shapeshifting into a crow, Aset perched on a tree and spoke the language of the birds, Nephthys hearing the call came to the window and gave the sign that she would meet Aset outside the door.
Nephthys stole away into the night, “sister, sister you called to me, what is that you need?” said Nephthys. Aset flew and landed on Nephthys’s shoulder, maintaining her disguise.
“Dear sister, my husband, your brother, has been deceived and killed by Set. His body lies in a box in a stranger’s abode. I have not the strength to resurrect him alone. I need you to be in union with me to increase our powers to awaken my beloved he sleeps in eternal darkness absent from the consciousness of my love. Please help me release him from this torturous suffering” spoke, Aset.
“Sister, you need but ask, and I am at your services. I will meet you there at twilight tomorrow with all we need to awaken our brother.”
Nephthys discreetly went back into her home but had not realized Set was listening by the window and heard every word. That night while Nephthys slept, Set gathered his guards and found Asar’s body and hacked it into 14 pieces, and spread them all over the world, to ensure he would not be resurrected.
When Aset discovered what Set had done, she lamented for forty days, and forty nights there were storms, tsunamis, hurricanes, earthquakes, and flooding worldwide during this time. Aset painted her entire body with black ash.
“Through many incarnations, I will search for you. Through many deaths, I will wait for you, with love only bestowed on to a god by a goddess I summon you back to me, I vow to resurrect you my beloved Asar, hear my soul cry in the darkness of your soul in which we are one and indestructible!”
Many springs, summers, and winters had come and gone, and Aset found a piece of her lovers’ body in many places worldwide. But no matter how hard she tried, she could not find the 14th piece, a phallus. Through Aset’s long search for Asar’s body’s fragments, she gained much knowledge and wisdom about the mysteries of the universe. One secret that she used often was telepathy. After the devastating experience of Set overhearing her conversation with Nephthys, Aset communicated now primarily through telepathy and symbols.
It was mid-spring when Aset planted flowers in the soil and gazed up at the sun when she felt Asar’s essence pervading her body. She smelt him in the wind that carried the scent of the night’s rain. She felt Asar’s caresses from the wings of the butterfly that brazed her naked shoulder, she heard his voice in the singing of the birds, she tasted his warm lips with the kiss of the sun. Aset knew it was time to resurrect her beloved.
“Sister, Sister, it is time to meet me when the sun is setting, and the moon is rising by the bank of the river,” Aset telepathically said to Nephthys. Nephthys met Aset and embraced her as soon as they met. Gathering all the pieces of Asar’s body except for the 14th piece, Aset and her sister dug a deep hole in the earth. Sister, the hole is finished. Are you ready to start the ritual of the Asarian resurrection? “Yes, it is time,” said Aset.
“Beloved God, brother, husband, these pieces of your body I return them to earth from which they came.” Placing each piece of Asar’s body into the hole, the sisters began to cover the hole. Nephthys began reciting sacred incantations to bring what is above down to what is below. “Sister in the satchel is clay; mold the clay into a phallus and use the mysteries of the divine feminine to draw the life force into the phallus and bring animation to its essence.” After Aset enlivened the phallus, the sisters waited and shared memories of Asar and shared all the stories they could remember about moments they spent with him. After nine hours, Nephthys said, “sister, it is time.” Nephthys and Aset dug up the pieces of Asar, but now his body was united, and he looked like perfection. “My beloved!” Aset screamed, “contain yourself, Nephthys shouted; the work is not finished. He is in-between worlds…. where is the phallus?”
“I have it, sister,” said Aset. “Place the phallus securely where it once fit and step back it will mold back together on its own, for cells have their own regenerative intelligence.” Aset did as her sister instructed and was enamored at the beauty of the erection of the phallus.
Aset could not withstand the longing for her beloved, she turned to her sister with anticipation in her eyes…. Nephthys said, “go to him, bring down the moon, and remember you must whisper his real name into his ear to awaken him completely. Aset approached her beloved, lying naked on the bare earth between the world of the living and the dead. Aset made love to Asar as if she were creating the entire universe; she whispered his true name into his ear. Whispering it again, Asar heard her call from the darkness of primordial chaos and took form into his body at that moment they both orgasmed. Their cathartic screams could be heard in both worlds and all realms of the universe.
Aset and Asar remained in the posture of a divine union for hours after his resurrection. Asar spoke softly while embracing Aset and said,
“Dear Goddess, the mysteries of the universe will always be found in a woman. Unconscious, not knowing who I was, I was dead in eternal sleep of illusions, and you resurrected me. I could spend several lifetimes showing my gratitude, but none of that could measure up to your relentless love–I will love you in death, in life, now, then, and after our love is indestructible, eternal, and formless. It will manifest in the hearts of women and men in future generations. Lost love will be found again in hearing our story. My beloved Aset, Goddess of magic, love, and compassion, set me on the eternal throne of your heart and allow me to serve you as your King once more.”
“Beloved, your words move me to no end. Your gratitude inspires my generosity of love. As you know, I am with child. Before his conception, he came to me in a dream and said he is coming to avenge your murder and reestablish the truth. His name will be Heru. Heru had a message from the universe’s architects; our love is greater than our desires, and divine love is the very fabric that holds the universe together. You must go back to the underworld, but this time awaken to who you truly are, I called you by your secret name, and you responded now you will eternally be conscious of the truth. There are several souls at the underworld gates who need a preceptor to help them pass through the ocean of illusion. If you are not there to meet them at the gate, the illusion of death will reap perpetual chaos, and many will be in eternal sleep. Our unborn child Heru and I must take back the throne from Set. I must be here to spread the truth about Sets’ deceptions and restore our people’s knowledge and wisdom. Beloved, I realize there is no separation, and you and I are united now that the veil has been lifted. Forever will you sit and rule the throne of my heart,” said Aset.
“Goddess, it is done,” said Asar. Aset kissed her brother and God of the underworld. And felt his life force left from the top of his head and descend into the darkness of the underworld—fully awake and conscious of his true nature. Asar’s awareness illuminated the rays of the sun for centuries, sustaining life for all beings.
Tinctures and Kabbalah
Recently I have become fascinated with tinctures. A tincture is a medicine made by dissolving a botanical into alcohol to extract its medicinal properties. Drops of tinctures can be ingested in tea, used as salad dressing or used as an aspect of ceremonial magic. I’ve always wanted to make a tincture but, in the past, I never found the time and kept putting it off.
As an avid reader in all things esoteric or occult, I came across a very interesting book entitled, The Temple of High Witchcraft: Ceremonies, Spheres and The Witches Qabalah by Christopher Penczak. It was a very interesting read, Penczak synthesizes natural science, metaphysics and various occult traditions from around the world in this work. His writing is extremely comprehensive especially explaining complex esoteric concepts such as the Kabbalistic Tree of Life. An interpretation of the Hebrew word Kabbala is “oral tradition.” The Tree of Life according to Penczack is a glyph of ten circles and twenty-two lines connecting them, the tree is the primary magic symbol drawn out of the text of the Jewish Kabbalah.
Third Sphere and Binah
September 18, I was studying about Binah the third sphere of the Tree of Life. This sphere resonated with me predominantly because Binah is the sphere of the Great Mother, the cosmic goddess. When I was six months old my mother left me because of circumstances beyond her control. This incident has left an imprint on my soul, the imprint is so intense at times I yearn for something I can not articulate. In the past I would have fundamental issues with ending relationships that needed to experience the phase of death, this I know now came from a deep-rooted fear of abandonment. Many thoughts of fear and abandonment arose while studying Binah, I questioned are we taught to love or is love inherently embedded in the consciousness of humanity? At 33 years-old for the first time I questioned had I ever truly experienced the reality of love, had I ever truly expressed love, or have I been expressing a defect of the conditioned behaviors of those adults who raised me?
There on my bed of golden satin sheets, I wept like a child, Binah, I thought I just want my mother. Binah means understanding moving beyond intellectual knowledge for knowledge without understanding has no power. In truth, Binah is understanding the great mysteries of life-for Binah is the source of life and cosmic reunion.
After studying Binah, I felt the insatiable need to extract the wisdom of Binah to help me on my healing process. So what better way than to create a tincture? So, on the fall equinox which was September 22, 2018, I created a tincture or better known as a fluid condenser in the occult world. Binah’s planetary correspondent is Saturn and an herb or botanical that corresponds with Saturn is Valerian Root. Valerian Root is an herb derived from the plant species Valeriana Officinalis. As a student of Alchemy, I was interested in why alcohol is used as a solvent to extract the healing constituents from an herb. All my research confirmed Middle Eastern alchemist who were concerned with making medical elixirs, referred to the vapor given off during any alchemical process such as the distilling of alcohol as the spirit of the original matter. And the plant was symbolic for the soul. How fascinating is that!
The process of Making a Tincture
I wanted to honor and respect all the elements I would be working with to transmute my ignorance about the mysteries of life into divine wisdom, so I researched the appropriate planetary times. The tincture was made at 8:57pm the hour of Saturn, on Saturday. I used a quarter Mason jar the ration of the botanical was one-part Valerian Root and approximately five-part spirit or alcohol, 50% proof of Vodka. Folk traditions advise using some form of gold in your fluid condenser, symbolic for the energy of the sun. I used 3 drops Colloidal Silver symbolic for the moon. If this fluid condenser is for manifesting purposes and no one else would be using it, some ancient traditions advise adding a couple drops of menstrual blood to the condenser. Menstrual blood has always been equated to the elixir of life in many traditions. I will write about how menstrual blood has been used for medicinal purposes among ancient medicine women of antiquity in another blog post.
The tincture I made will set in a nice cool place in my room for 28 days. Each day I have been shaking the mixture making sure all the herbs are always submerged in the alcohol. It has been exciting to state the least to see the slow but tedious transformation of the spirit extracting the healing properties from the soul. Metaphysically there has been a serious shift in my consciousness where the pseudo-reality I once knew is slowly but surely dissolving, the attachment to who I thought I was is dissipating and who I am to become has yet to be revealed.
“you can’t make anyone love you, you can not control what they do or do not do, it is an element of love- allowing yourself to be vulnerable, let go of the attachment to control everyone will not express themselves in the way you want them too.”
Discovering your mission in life is not for the faint of heart. It will take some late nights, tears, frustration and pain. But once you get to the point where you know with out a shadow of a doubt why you are on the earth, it will be soul purifying.
Soul excavation requires courage to look inside yourself rather than always looking to someone else to guide you, it also can be terrifying if for so long being told what to think, feel and act has been the norm. Be prepared to lose everything on the quest to discover your life mission. There may be people,places habits or things that have been holding you back for years that will need to be let go. Even old ways of thinking will need to be transformed to see your destiny in its totality.
Whenever, I read about those great people like Oprah Winfrey, Napoleon Hill, Albert Einstein,Malcom X and Parmahansa Yogananda they all had a common theme, they knew the power of authenticity. Trying to be some one else or do exactly what another person did we rob our selves and others of expressing the infinite diversification of talents. There may have been a lot of greats and dynamic stars but they are not you and will never be you.
There is something unique and special about each individual on the planet, sure we all have similar talents but no one can do it the way you do it. Look at the late and great Michael Jackson he was a singer just like any other singer of his time. What was it about his delivery that made him legendary? What was it about his talent that drew millions to him like a moth to a flame? Michael tapped into the infinite potential of his authentic self. Most people innately have a desire to tap into their true soul identity but do not know how. So they wind up living the lives they have been condition to live, working at place they had been conditioned to work, following the masses to fake lives living, a synthetic reality.
Discovering your purpose in life is not limited to material success. It has everything to do with what you love, what wakes you up in the morning, what you can’t wait to do, what you do and will do for free, what does not feel like work and most importantly what will enrich other people lives.
I once knew a young girl who had a very traumatic child hood and lived in extreme poverty.Whenever she felt scared or alone she would write in her journal. In her journal she could be her authentic self there were no limitations, she could be across the world drinking tea by the Eiffel Tower or on a safari in the Serengeti while in the next room her father was smoking dope. Her pen and paper drew out her true limitless identity that saved her from a life of inauthenticity.
Discovering your mission in life is the guide that will lead you out of the matrix, you must go deep inside your soul; the true guru and liberate yourself.
Its to damn big it wont fit! No matter how I try to squeeze it in or mash it down or walk passed it and pretend its invisible it’s there; awkwardly staring back at me like you know this don’t fit right? Dreams are so personable that they are measured to accommodate you. Another person’s ‘ dream will never be tailored for you, no matter how similar the dream may be; what the Creator has is designed for you.
Have you ever tried to stay in a relationship that you knew wasn’t going anywhere? But you would have been just fine enjoying the ride, but deep down in the pit of your existence you could intuitively since the end was approaching even if everything appeared to be fine. It just didn’t fit. You ever worked at an odd job while waiting for that one big break… its like waking up every morning trapped in another person’s life, it just wont fit.
As children we imagine a world without limitations; as adults we secretly dare to use our imagination when we are alone, dancing around the house or singing in the shower; imagining we’re that famous super star. Why do these dreams have to remain imprisoned within our soul? They burst out when we’re alone and tired of just trying to survive. When we see an old classmate, finally “making it” we feel contentment for their success but we think what about me? When is it my moment to get married, travel the world, start a million dollar business, write a book, wake up in a new Bugatti, save some people?
Looking around at your life; things just don’t seem to fit right. You are not being ungrateful it’s just that our limitless dreams are having an issue fitting into our limited perceived reality.
It is hard out here! So many things ravage through ones’ mind in this rat race, dreams deferred or put on hold so that we can get our basic needs met. We are stalked by child hood dreams and aspirations that will not cease to exist in our subconscious. The slogans are shoved down our throats since grammar school ” if you believe you can achieve” No one ever mentioned that some times in life depending on your socioeconomic status, race or where you were born demographically opportunities can be limited.
And getting a college degree does not equal financial stability. Depending upon the amount of loans you have taken out you may find your self in deeper debt then where you started. On that long journey to success that includes financial freedom how does one stay sane, moral and still have the audacity to hope when your on your last tank of gas and groceries need to be bought? How does one exercise restraint and not turn to dope dealing, stripping, prostitution and other means of hustling? Regardless of how religious or spiritual one may be; out of desperation to survive radical thoughts invade the human mind. It is easy for someone who has arrived at financial freedom to shout empty rhetoric like, “just believe, have faith, persevere” without including a practical formula for embodying these concepts.
Everyone’s journey is going to be different and may require more faith or more patience than another. It is essential to understand environmental influences and family dynamics do affect a persons progress in some way or another. Having faith requires one to see or imagine a vision that has yet to be captured by the physical eye, like imagining what has to be done tomorrow though it has yet to come. Belief comes in to play by believing that your vision is real and, has yet to be manifest despite what your current circumstances appear to be. If there is no vision, we are left blundering around subject to all forms of attack; allowing our current desperate circumstances to be our ultimate reality.
Remember it took African Americans over 400 years to gain physical freedom, the Israelites were in the wilderness for 40 years before reaching the promise land.
In order to gain freedom in any degree one must have a vision, have faith in that vision, un wavering belief in the vision. Lastly, take the steps toward manifesting that vision, without deviating off the correct path. In the event we lose our way; we need to turn on our GPS or God Path Source and get back on track!
May this passage be a reminder of what true faith looks like;
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.”
Time and Time again we are constantly seeking escapism or some form of distraction from our everyday problems. We seek refuge in food, unhealthy relationships, social media, drugs, work and so on. But what really are we running from? Or running towards? In that journey, do we arrive at the destination that we were so adamantly seeking?
Ultimately in life we realize early on that any type of pain externally or internally is undesirable. Naturally we seek to avoid what ever is inflicting that particular pain. Essentially when we run away from inflictions we are seeking peace whether consciously or subconsciously. Paradoxically while we seek peace we are derailed by delusions of peace. For example a drug attic remains addicted to a substance because they’re chasing elevation, not realizing the search for elevation did not derive from using the substance, it was an internal desire. An abused women remains with her abuser hoping that one day; he will become that charismatic man that ignited passion in her before the despair. The abused women hasn’t realized the passion she seeks began before her acquaintance with him it was internal. The excessively ambitious entrepreneur is obsessed with a distorted idea of success, amassing wealth but suffers silently of emotional poverty and emptiness.
More importantly it is impossible to find freedom externally when the cage lies within. It is becoming more evident since ancient civilization escapism has become a habit of humanity. Take prophet Jonah(peace be upon him), God called him to enlighten the people of Nineveh, teaching them to worship One God and desist in their immoral behavior. Prophet Jonah became frustrated with the behavior of the people of Nineveh and allowed his emotions to stir him off the righteous path. In a state of anger he boarded a ship hoping it would sail far away from Nineveh. Instead of running away from his problem the ship ran into a raging storm. It was customary at that time to draw sticks to determine who would be thrown over board to prevent the ship from sinking. Prophet Jonah’s name was pulled thus into the raging waters he went. When he awoke Prophet Jonah was in the deep dark belly of a whale. It wasn’t until he was in the depths of darkness and ultimate solitude did he realize; there isn’t anywhere to escape what the Creator of all creations has ordained him to do. With this deep understanding of purpose Prophet Jonah cried out to God and was freed physically from the belly of the whale and mentally.
Through the ancient account of Prophet Jonah it is evident that running away from ourselves or problems will only lead to enslavement as opposed to liberation. True freedom is; identifying our purpose, having unassailable faith that whatever trial we’re experiencing we have divine assistance and, the mental capacity to accomplish any goal or overcome any obstacle. Deep in the darkness of our soul is where we will find purpose, liberation, ecstasy, peace and God. All other paths are temporary mirages and are sure to fade away.
I leave you with Peace.